I close the door after letting a client in my office. As I sit down on my chair he looks at me for a moment and blurts out: "Are you pregnant?" (Interestingly, I was wearing a shirt that, while trying it on at the store, I was hesitating to buy it because I thought it looked a bit like a pregnancy shirt)
(The following didn't happen with a client, but a fellow passenger on the bus)
I'm filling out intake paperwork with a new client. As I'm writing down her answer about her work history, she puts her hand on my desk, taps it and says, "You know, I wish we could eat furniture. Wouldn't that be something? (Thinks) Tables would taste like maple syrup. Don't you think?"
Also see part 2