Sunday, October 4, 2009

Healthy Level of Insanity at Work

This is a classic list that I can't take credit for -- nor am I sure who's the original source. Regardless, I could read it hundreds of times and still laugh. Co titled: Fun things to do at the office to the amusement of your coworkers:

1. Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice)
2. Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. "That's a good point, Sparky". "I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Cha Cha."
3. Send email to the rest of the company telling them what you're doing. For example "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."
4. While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in "Palmolive."
5. Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
6. Put a chair facing a printer, sit there all day and tell people you're waiting for your document.
7. Arrive at a meeting late, say you're sorry, but you didn't have time for lunch, and you're going to be nibbling during the meeting. During the meeting eat 5 entire raw potatoes.
8. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask him or her if they want fries with that.
9. Send email to yourself engaging yourself in an intelligent debate about the direction of one of your company's products. Forward the e-mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement.
10. Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.
11. Put your garbage can on your desk. Label it "IN."
12. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
13. Send e-mail messages saying free pizza, free donuts etc... in the lunchroom, when people complain that there was none... Just lean back, pat your stomach, and say, "Oh you've got to be faster than that."
15. Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."
16. Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire working area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
17. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
18. Five days in advance, tell your coworkers you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

I laughed when I first read the list and saw that something I do is actually on there -- namely calling some coworkers by random nicknames. I would probably try some of these for laughs -- which may say something about my weirdness. Seeing other peoples' blank stares of disbelief is entertaining by itself because of my tendency to seem serious at work.

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